Saturday, March 01, 2008

this != that

A new friendship got cemented today. Sometimes there's an identifiable point when someone goes from being a new friend (compelling, engaging, pleasant company, but ultimately an unknown quantity) to someone you know that you really admire and respect. That's not always how it works of course - people all being different and everything, but there often has been that moment for me with people and today was one of those days.

I'd been hoping that maybe there might be more going on here than a new friendship in the making: You see this guy's smart, funny, talented and very sexy* and we'd both been playing with the idea that maybe there was some mileage in our being more than just mates. There have been plenty of moments when I could imagine just that, but things have never really bubbled up past the 'nervously optimistic' mark, and today he gently but directly addressed that. The chemistry isn't quite right.

It's good to acknowledge when 'this thing' is not 'that thing'. It's not easy, because there are feelings involved and nobody likes being the one to pop the bubble, but it was nonetheless a brave and kind step. With the bubble popped, excited but awkward anticipation gives way to an ease and comfort. I'm disappointed that things aren't working out that way but I'm also very glad to know this person and that's the part that will last.

*a list which describes most of my friends now I come to think of it

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